bc here is come!

off to vancouver and victoria tomorrow. i am super excited. i didn't realize how many people i knew out there! lots of reunions and sight-seeing to do. i will be checking out a college in victoria that has program i'm interested in called 'community, family and child studies'. it looks really exciting so i'd like to get more info. will get a chance to do some hiking and i've been promised it's not too hard (read don't need arms). so if you send me your address i'll be sure to send a postcard to ya. have my last shift today. i was really lucky that they let me work this week even though i quit the same day i got hired. extra cash is always good.

tattoo and butt noise

i was changing at the gym yesterday when i woman complimented me on my tattoo. at first i didn't know what she was talking about. my wha.....? i guess one of the drawbacks of having a tattoo on your back is that you don't get to see it and thus forget it's there. i can't remember the last time i looked at my tattoo. i went to the mirror and looked at it. yes, she was right. it is rather nice. i'm glad i still have it.

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do you ever pass gas in public expecting it to be a silent puff of wind when instead it creates a thunderous roar? happened to me yesterday. tried moving my foot to create a sound, any sound, on the floor but of course it didn't work. damn i hate that.

falling leaves

i love autumn in canada. the days are getting cooler now and i love getting out my sweaters and feeling the chill in the morning air. the leaves are those wonderful shades of orange and red. i saw a man racking yesterday. i remember when i was young jumping in piles of leaves and throwing them high in the air. i loved the smell of leaves burning in our ditch. do people still have ditches?

i think its haiku time

falling leaves cool breeze
a canadian autumn
thanks giving pumpkin

it all worked out

i was coming home from a cool festival (short animation) when i realized that i just couldn't live in ottawa. i'm too far from downtown, too far from work and just not feeling the vibe. i decided i'd quit my job and go to halifax. i couldn't sleep all night. was i making the right decision? was quitting a job dumb?

anyways when my dad got up at 5am i was of course still up. we chatted for a few hours and i HAVE FINALLY MADE SOME DECISIONS ABOUT MY LIFE!!! i quit my job this morning. i was really nervous because i felt so bad about having gone through the interview process and some training etc. my manager still asked me to work today as he was short staffed. when i got there he called the store in halifax and is trying to get me transfered which would be sweet! i would have a job all lined up. also i can work there this week so i'll have a few extra pennies. here is my plan.

i'm going to vancouver and victoria next week. i'm going for 10 days. my dad had the good point that while i want to move there, i've never actually checked the place out and maybe i should. when i get back i'll go to see the surgeon then hit halifax until january and then vancouver.

that's it. done. i feel great. i'm really happy. i swear i won't write about this anymore

this and that

started my new job yesterday. i think i'll be able to survive it for a few months. working at the running room. cool part is that i get to join running clinics as a participant and as a motivator. i've joined the 10km clinic for the fall and have set a goal to finally run a half in the spring.

totally tripped out watching clouds this morning. i love clouds and sometimes forget to enjoy them. i love cumulous (sp?) the most - so fluffy and fun.

rereading the beauty myth by naomi wolf. it's interesting that modeling and prostitution are the only jobs where women continually earn more money than men. the various waves of feminism have done wonders at helping women (largely white hetero) at bettering their lives and creating areas for power and choice. i agree with wolf that the beauty ideology/myth is still one of the largest social constructions holding women down. i think it's one of the hardest to dismantle because women are key holders in their own oppression/misery. we continually objectify ourselves and other women. i believe women view other women more than men do and that their gaze is negative whereas men's isn't as much. or that at least women's and men's gazes are different.

going to see a brazilian animation at the national art gallery tonight. wanna come? i'm getting bored of going out alone.

what am i going to call - heads or hearts?

i've noticed that i'm not able to make decisions anymore. is this part of getting 'old'? when i was younger i'd jump for anything - i only applied for one college, one university and usually one job. i wouldn't weigh pros or cons, i'd just say to myself "yup, this is it" and go for it. now is look at too many factors. i'm not sure which is better but it's driving me crazy.

i'm trying to decide where to live for the next few months before heading out west. if i follow my head, i'd probably stay here in ottawa, if follow my heart, i'd probably go back to halifax.

PRO OTTAWA: surgeon is here, physio and chiro established, probably have a job (find out this week), possibility of meeting new people, able to save more money
CON OTTAWA: if i get the job the commute will be 1 hour each way, live in the suburbs (EECH), have my own room but its also the communal computer room

PRO HALIFAX: feel comfortable and at home there, have my own room, family and few friends are there, possibility fo meeting new people, commuting to downtown is 10 minutes
CON HALIFAX: need to establish medical stuff (would be referred to surgeon but not sure how long waiting list is), wages are lower, because i know people down there i'd be going out more and not saving as much

if you managed to read this horribly boring blog THANK YOU. what do you think?

just got a phone call. i got the job. wow. i need to decide today

pier 21

just arrived back from a wonderful 10 days in halifax. now my head is spinning spinning spinning. i want to go back and live there. i feel lonely in ottawa. but the ottawa/halifax debate is for another day (and it's pretty damn boring).

halifax is a coastal city located by the atlantic ocean (for my kiwi readers). it's an important city for canada because many immigrants arrived there until the 1970s. they would arrive at pier 21. pier 21 is also were soldiers left (and hopefully returned) for war.

pier 21 is also an important place for me and my family. my grandfather was in ww2 and left by ship from pier 21. while he was fighting he met a woman who would become his wife and my grandmother. when the war finished, my grandfather returned home to canada and entered at pier 21. a little while my grandmother, from wales, came to canada and arrived at pier 21 too.

i visited pier 21 last week. both of my grandparents' names are on plaques hung at pier 21. they have both played roles in canada's history and development. i couldn't believe it was my first time to visit such a special place.

memory box

arrived in halifax on sunday. i LOVE this city. as a child i'd come here every summer with my family and spend 2 weeks eating my grandmother's food, playing with my cousins, laughing at my funny uncles, swimming in the ocean and just being happy. i came here for univeristy too. needless to say, this place is filled with happy happy memories.

however when i arrived on friday all of my boxes from japan were waiting for me at my mom's (i was suppose to be living here not ottawa). i tore into them looking for my clothes, cds and odds and ends. instead i came across my yukatas (summer 'kimono'), my shodo pieces (japanese calligraphy), instant raman packets, chopsticks, photos from my life - friends, students, drunken karaoke scenes, letters from students, obento boxes, things you hang from your cell phone (what are those called?) and so on. i felt very strange (and thanks lorax for your thoughts on this), here i was, in the city of my past, looking in boxes at the evidence at how i had changed over the years. my mantra as i was leaving japan was that i had to keep my wheels in motion. neither halifax nor ottawa are motion for me. they are places of comfort. once i'm better, i'm a woman of motion again. decided on vancouver, 2007.

like, ya, totally

so i'm like on the like bus...like whatever! anyways, i'm like on the like bus and there are like these 2 girls like totally sitting beside me and like talking sooo loud. i'm like, hello, can you BE any louder? anyways, these like 2 girls who are like obviously from toronto (no offence ej), are like talking about their like first week of university. like can you be any younger? so like one of them, the one in like the roots yoga gear or like lululemon gear or like...no wait, they're like dressed the same...you know the like ipod with mainstream hiphop beats, cell phone, and like the starbucks in like the paper cup and the like $100 jandles/flip flops, well like you know, these two girls are like really one because they are like so the fucking same are like talking about this LOSER who was in their like frosh group. droid 1 "oh my god, did you like see his like greasy hair" droid 2 "like I KNOW. totally gross. and the girl with the like huuuuge zit on her like nose. like whatever, i would like never leave the house with a zit on my nose. like people would like tease me you know." droid 1 "ya, totally"
like whatever droid, no one would like ever make fun of you ....you know?

note from editor: sexyelbow actually loves toronto so like no hate kay?

eyes on the road and my hands up on the wheel

well i did it!!!! i took the first steps in getting my driver's licence! i can't believe it. i studied all weekend and only got one question wrong! yippeee. the ironic part is that i can't actually physically drive until my arms are stronger. but when i get the green light (pardon the pun) i'll be jumping behind the wheel. anyone volunteers for teaching me?

yumiko: looks like you are the only one in the "can't drive" club. guess the whole pregnant thing is a good excuse....for now!

3 needles

watched the movie '3 needles' last night. i'm still not sure what i think about it and would love to have a coffee with someone and discuss it. the plot takes place in south africa, canada and china and each country's beliefs, views and attitudes towards hiv/aids is explored. i wonder if i was hiv positive if i would have been offended by the film. i liked the cross cultural comparison and found it well done. i thought the portrayal of women to be somewhat disturbing. not sure if that's because their portrayal is realistic or because its not. does that make sense? i am specifically referring to the nun in south africa. won't give the movie away. watch it and let me know what you think. you may need tissues or a barf bag.

things i'm happy about today

• found out 5 minutes ago that my favourite couple are going to be parents
• discovered a wonderful japanese grocery store today - brought home natto, pokey sticks and mochi with anko (what are those called?)
• was able to bend my elbow enough to make 90 degrees!
• listened to black eyed peas and rocked out while eating my natto
• saw so much PDA today.....forgot that it's ok to kiss and hold hands in public
• went to a club alone last night and realized today that before i moved to japan i would never have done that
• the sun is shining
• i will be in halifax in one week
• that i'm a happy kid overall