THE SEXY ELBOW

well here it is! my elbow one week after surgery. my mom had the luck of cleaning it and putting it back in the soft cast. i think the hardest part was probably dealing with me - i was very close to vomiting/passing out even though i couldn't see it nor feel a thing! about 10 days ago the staples came out and the scar is actually going to be very small. for those of you who have never had staples like these, they remove them just as you would removing staples from paper.....it didn't hurt but i was freaking out just the same.

so what's your biggest scar? biggest injury? grossest experience? in the spirit of japanese english "LET'S STORY TELL"

bizarre breeding

went to the museum of nature today. they had an exhibit called 'fatal attraction' which showcased a variety of species with strange and/or interesting mating rituals. after walking through the exhibit i watched a short documentary called 'bizarre breeding'. did you know that when praying mantids mate, the female eats the male's head (the one above the shoulders)! he becomes completely decapitated but the nerves in his body keep him going! by eating the head, he helps nourish the female and therefore his offspring. hmmm, puts a new spin on 'giving head'.

thanks for the smile kid

i was out walking around dusk last night. approaching me on the side walk were two boys, about 7 or 8 years old. they were talking about whatever it is little boys talk about when the street lights turned on. the blonde one puts both of his hands on either side of his head and goes "oh crap, the street lights are on. i gotta go." and promptly takes of, running in my direction. i chuckle to myself. i remember when i was young and my curfew was whenever the street lights came on too. ("but mom.......the street lights where pam live AREN'T on yet. they must go on a different times." bad liar) just as the kid passes me i look behind me. i see this kid, who is now alone, launch into a front somersault, stand up, and do some crazy side leg kicks. he stops, brushes the grass off, and continues walking down the sidewalk. i get this HUGE smile across my face. how nice it must be to be 'free' of societal behavioural norms. or at least not give a shit. when was the last time i launched into some gymnastics or dance moves, alone, in public? so i did a little dance, alone, in the middle of a street in the middle of suburbs. and it felt great. i hope someone saw me and that it put a huge smile on their face.

going around in circles

i've been sitting at the computer for 3 days now

i am slowly going crazy 123456 switch
crazy going slowly am i 654321 switch

i google "volunteer overseas" i google "volunteer canada" i google "jobs in ottawa" i google "jobs in vancouver" i google "career counseling" i google "dalhousie and masters" i google "chai recipe" i google "SHOOT ME"
i am so stuck. i have all this energy. all this drive. all this ambition. i just don't know where to put it. there are heaps of great opportunities out there - local, national, international, paid, volunteer, intership - i don't know what my problem is. i feel like i have this mental block or a boulder blocking my next path.
however i have signed up for two very basic computer classes next week and have decided to take a first aid course. and belly dancing. yippeee
current plans 10:15 - move to vancouver by january
current plans 10:16 - go back to university in ontario
current plans 10:17 - go to college in nova scotia
current plans 10:18 - volunteer in kenya
current plans 10:19 - chill out with a coffee and good book

breasts

while reading yesterday, i came across 2 items that made me think about women's bodies, specifically breasts. the first is from one of the books i'm reading titled "the only bush i trust is my own" by periel aschenbrand (despite promising title it's not a great read). she writes "I think we should put our tits to better use - it's prime advertising space being wasted on vapid slogans like "Princess"." she then gives examples of political slogans we could wear. ok yes, she is still using her breasts to get a message across, still encouraging her body to be objectified, however on terms that she fells is justifiable. of course that in itself makes for an interesting discussion. however i'm interested on what you'd put on YOUR shirt? your chest. in university i had a shirt made up that read 'peace'. i think if i made another one today, i'd have the same thing printed on it.

2.the second came from an article i read called 'hanging torsos'. its about an artist who made 119 molds of different women's torsos to show the diversity in women's bodies. what struck me was why she did it. in the article the artist states "she learned that the biggest graduation gift in the United States in 2204 for high school students was breast implants." WHAT? HUH? i actually find this very hard to believe. perhaps i don't want to believe it (the source of this statistic is not provided). i'm actually quite speechless about it.

back to work

yup i'm 28, single, unemployed and living with my dad. that could be viewed as bad however i had planned this for a few months (except the single part!). i'm currently trying to figure out what my next step is. its frustrating really. i know i want to work for a ngo. i want to be active in the social justice scene whether its working with/for women, the environment, human rights etc. i'm just not sure how to get my foot in the door. i'd prefer not to go back to school. i want experience. i'm currently debating whether to do a year long volunteer service overseas or to move out west (where i'd like to end up) and try and get a job there. or maybe do a yearlong volunteer position in canada (why do i think i have to leave canada inorder to make the greatest difference?) my head is so jumbled with ideas, solutions, possibilities, wants, dreams and desires. i don't want to rush into a decision but that is so my style.
so i've decided for the time being that i'm working from 9am to 2pm daily (and yes updating my blog was my first assignment.....slacker). today i'll check out dental insurance plans and posting for ngo positions, both for employment and volunteer.
i hate being in limbo. i love being in limbo.

good times

to add onto last post....
reunion was great. lovely being in a hot tub although was weird wearing a bathing suit. after 3 years of onsens (japanese public bath), felt strange wearing clothes. prefer being naked.

stay tuned for photos of my elbow and face prior to healing!

reunion

i have plans to meet up with two of my great ladies later on today. i saw them briefly 2 years ago but its been over 3 years since i've spent considerable time with them. luckily emailing has allowed us to stay in close contact. however i feel really nervous. is this normal? why do i feel nervous about seeing people that i consider and hope to be life long friends? i guess i know i've changed and they have have changed too. i'm worried i guess because of course, our friendship has changed too. i hate change sometimes. hmmmmmm

28 things about me

1. i'm 28 years old
2. i'm a morning person. my favourite time of day is between 6:30am and 8:30 am (and also between 11pm and 4am)
3. my BA is in women's studies and sociology
4. my first part time job was at a coffee shop
5. i prefer sleeping on my stomach than on my back
6. i usually eat something sweet everyday - my favourite is chocolate
7. i love drinking coffee in the morning
8. one of my favourite sounds is a loon's cry
9. i loved canoeing and camping with my family as a child. now i love those activities with my friends
10. i have one tattoo and would like to get another
11. i don't have a best friend......i have many (sooooo lucky)
12. i lived in hokkaido, japan for 3 years
13. the most i have walked in one day is 30km
14. i had surgery on my right elbow....hence the name of this blog
15. i get restless very easily. i prefer being active than sitting around
16. i have never driven a car
17. i want to work for a ngo
18. my favourite karaoke song is 'mosh'
19. my blood type is A
20. my all time favourite cd is probably 'ten' by pearl jam
21. loud breathing is my biggest pet peeve
22. i'm a good listener
23. i hate math
24. my favourite teacher was my grade one teacher mrs. wood
25. i love laughing in my dreams
26. i love to travel
27. i think money is overrated
28. i don't like white socks.