highlights of 2006 - part 5

january 1st - 12th

i'm in the philippines and having a wonderful time. i have two very powerful moments during my travels.

on new year's eve i meet a young guy who is a guitarist in the band playing at a bar i'm waitressing at (to get free room and board....long story). he's around 18 years old and a real sweetie. he offers to come with me the next day and show me around his town. i take him up on his offer.

we hire a motorcycle taxi - i'm in the middle, the driver in the front and he on back. so safe! we visit local sights and have a fun day. he tells me he and his roommate have just moved here and he wants to show me his very own place. is it safe? sure! we get the taxi to drop us off at his 'home'. it is the first time i've left highly traveled areas and am in a 'slum' area. jagged glass pieces are stuck in cememt along the brick fence that surrounds the area he lives in. his neighbours have this too in hopees of preventing people from breaking in - or big scary dogs. i go into his 'house'. he is so proud.

what i see i would hardly call a home. it is about 10feet long and 6 feet wide. there is no window just a metal door that sort of shuts. no electricity, no running water. the only thing inside is a bamboo mat that they both sleep on. he is so proud. he plays in the band and with the money he earns he pays his part of the rent. he uses a sink outside to get water and cannot cook any meals. what i would call a dump he calls home. with pride. what a snob i am.

a few days later i am visiting another island. my tricycle driver and i become friends and he stops charging me fare and instead we just hang out. he offers to take to me a party one night. i feel a little nervous. the media always reports how tourists get raped/mugged/beat up by poor locals in 'developing' countries. surely my 'luck' can't be good enough twice?

i decide to go anyways. we venture off from tourist-ville and along narrow foot paths in the forest. i'm feeling nervous. we get to a small village and onto his cousins house. everyone greets me warmly - sisters, friends, cousins, aunts and uncles. there is so much good food. i think i even eat meat. we drink rum and laugh and dance. when i decide to go home he takes me back to ensure i don't lost and that i arrive safely.

i go to vancouver in september. it's the scariest place i have ever been. i don't feel safe. no one is friendly. i think of yule and christian and feel ashamed for the racist and poverty-fear i felt while in the philippines.

highlights of 2006 - part 4

december 24th

christmas eve and i'm not feeling the christmas cheer. could be a result of working retail, no snow...who knows. we are having family over for yummy eats and drinks. i love my family - they are a group of really funny, interesting and original people. to quote my aunt pam, we are "normal dysfunctional". it's this normal dysfunction i am sort of dreading tonight. one on one i enjoy my relatives but sometimes as a large group i find it stressful. i'm not in the mood.
we are all making small chit chat. i mentioned earlier in the month to my aunt that i really really REALLY wanted to sing carols on xmas eve. i hadn't sung carols in years and it is all i really wanted to do. she put together a bunch of carols and made copies for everyone. the moment comes. i suggest we sing carols expecting everyone to laugh and not go for it. how wrong i am!!!! we sing a bunch of carols. lots of laughing and few full efforts. even boppa is joining in (he doesn't really have a voice). i'm in full xmas mode. what a wonderful gift to me.

highlights of 2006 - part 3

july 29th

i've left my town, rubeshibe, and am now in niseko with my friend katie. niseko is one of our favourite places in japan. it is a nature-lovers haven offering skiing, snow-shoeing, hiking, rafting, mountain running, adventure races and mountain biking.....yes, mountain biking.

katie and i have decided to spend 4 days camping in niseko with each day offering a different outdoor sport. we decided that no boys were allowed. we had spent the past year doing all of our outdoor sporting in large groups of men and this was a 'girls rock out' event. nice.

it's day 3. we rent mountain bikes and head out for a day of adventure. i'm feeling great. i am literally 100meters from our goal - the onsen!!! i'm going fast and lose my confidence. i brake hard and that's all i really remember.

i realize i'm groaning and when i open my eyes i see blood all over my hands and can feel it dripping off of my chin. i try to use my tongue to feel if i have any teeth but my mouth is too swollen to allow my tongue to move. i sort of remember a car stopping ahead of me, my friend katie arriving and someone else washing my face. i'm crying. "katie...is my face ok?" i'm so worried i've fucked up my face. i don't seem to notice the pain in my arms yet. "you're going to be fine" she pats me on the on the shoulder.

katie comes in the ambulance with me. i'm in shock and barking out orders. "how am i going to get home? where is my wallet, i don't have insurance, do they take visa? where are my glasses? is my face ok?" i'm trying to speak japanese to the paramedic but can't seem to make any sense. katie is amazing at keeping me calm. "don't worry...i'll handle everything" she says. she does.

there is so much to this story i could write for days. katie stays with me at hotel, packs up the camping gear and carries both of our huge packs around. she washes and feeds me, repacks my suitcases. katie - i can't thank you enough.

somehow i spend 36 hours traveling alone with my face all bandaged up, both arms in soft casts and in a lot of pain. i arrive in canada, 5 days after the accident, 4 days with no shower, and am taken to emergency. i don't think the nurses believe my story at first. "how hard did you hit you head?" i keep getting asked. i have surgery 2 days later on my right elbow. the left is broken too but not soo bad.

it has been 4 months since the accident. i will have surgery again this winter/early spring. my face is fine. my elbow is still weak and my right arm is 2 inches shorter than my left. i've learnt i have amazing friends and family. i wish i could thank all of the strangers in niseko, the airports and on the planes who helped me out. especially the woman in a tokyo airport bathroom who washed my face, combed my hair re-did my ponytail for me.

highlights of 2006 - part 2

april 29th - may 5th (or around there)

my good friend jan and i decide to take an over-night ferry to sado island. we have about $150 each, a tent, sleeping bags and a mission to travel only by foot or hitch hike. with a small budget, we really didn't have much of a choice.

we leave our tent in a park. this is not a camping ground, it isn't even sheltered. one side is the ocean, the other a road in the middle of a busy port city. i am sure camping is prohibited but we pitch the tent anyways, staying two nights. we leave our packs during the day. only in japan would i feel so safe about breaking rules and knowing my gear is safe.

we greet the same old man each morning we are there as he is very friendly to us. one night is very cold and wet. the local oba-san at the coffee shop gives us hard boiled eggs which are still hot. she explains we can put them at our feet to keep warm and eat them in the morning.

another good friend, kate, and her boyfriend decide to meet us on sado. we start a hitch hiking race - kate and yuki versus jan and i. kate and yuki take the easy way and jan and i take the longer, more scenic route (and we had already traveled the other path). we head off and see who will arrive first.

jan and i have some bad luck. we get dropped off in the middle of no where. no cars. no villages. just 2 white girls getting hot and tired. suddenly a car drives by. we basically dump in front of the car. it stops and a man gets out. it's the man from our morning conversations!!! small world. we are as excited to see him as he to see us.

we jump in his crammed car. his wife and mother are also inside and they have gifts of fresh flowers and homemade sweets to offer their ancestors. we drive to an old grave and say a small prayer. i feel privileged to be a part of this. i eat oba-san's sweets.

kate and yuki beat us. i don't feel bad about losing. how can this perfect day get any better? right. mary jane on a hill side running naked with your mates.

highlight of 2006 -part 1

some very wonderful (and not so wonderful) things happened to me this past year. think i'll share a few of the highlights with you over the next week.

july 22nd

it is saturday and i'm at rubeshibe high school where i have been an assistant english teacher for the past three years. it is the last day of the school festival and also my last day. i'm feeling sad but ready to go. ready for change. ready to speak and hear english every bloody day.

all 400 students and 40plus teachers are in the gym watching a video that was made showing the month's worth of prepartion, rehersal and practice for the festival. the lights are out and the curtains drawn across the windows. the video ends. a spotlight suddenly appears on me. "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..........ttttttttttttt" i think to myself. i don't remember this in rehersal. one of my favourite students runs over to me "kt sensei. we sing for you. we sing. front come" i'm already crying.

i get to the front of the gym and face everyone. the students all stand up, some on their chairs and are yelling "i love you....we love kt....good-bye...ganbatte". the music teacher starts playing "sukiyaki" on the piano and the gym is filled with 400 voices singing for me. TO ME! it was the most beautiful moment.

at a party later that night a teacher comments how the students never sing their school song although they are supposed to.

i hope you dance

i hope you never lose your sense of wonder
you get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
may you never take one single breath for granted
god forbid love ever leave you empty-handed
i hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
whenever one door closes i hope one more opens
promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
i hope you dance...i hope you dance

i hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
never settle for the path of least resistance
livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin'
lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin'
don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
when you come close to sellin' out reconsider
give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
and when you get the chance to sit it out or dance
i hope you dance...i hope you dance

time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder
where those years have gone
i hope you dance...i hope you dance
i hope you dance

- mark d. sanders and tia sillers

kokoro

this is one of my favourite kanji (japanese character). it is pronounced 'ko ko ro" and its meaning is basically heart, spirit and mind. i love how in japanese one word has the same meaning yet in english they are generally perceived quite differently. i am thinking of getting another tattoo and this will be it. if i get it, i'll put in on the inside of my left hand, on the fleshy part below the thumb. it will be very small, maybe only a quarter of this size.

when writing kanji, one must follow an exact stroke order. i am hoping to find a japanese tattoo artist or at least teach him/her the stroke order. i'm really excited.

this can't be true

i found this link one someone elses blog:Daddy Dearest.

please please please. read the whole article. these girls are at a ball with their daddies....promising their virginity until their wedding nights. i have nothing against people's personal choices. however, should 8 year old girls be required to do this? eech.

writer's blog, er, block

i've got a bad case of writer's block or more like haven't-written-an-essay-in-4-years-i-don't-know-any-big-words
-syndrome. i've applied for 5 programs starting next fall and i've heard back from 2 requesting short essays on why i want to be in the program blah blah. i know why i want to go to school again - i love volunteer work, fundraising and basic NFP mandates and missions. i want a career in this field. why can't i just put it onto paper. i'm stuck.......i hate the bull shit academic lingo i feel i have to use. why 2-4 pages when i can sum it up like this:

i will rock in this industry because i believe in my heart in the values, goals and missions of most NFP groups. i will give you 100% dedicated hard work. i'm your woman.

run katie run

awhile back i wrote about how i was asked to be a group leader for a half marathon in may. i decided not to be a leader because it is a huge time commitment that i don't want to make right now (3 run clubs a week.....basically volunteer). however i have decided to do the half marathon and finished week 1 of my training. luckily i have a pretty solid base so on the 16 week program my work offers i'm starting around weeks 5 - 6. each week i have to do a short run, a long run (this week was 11km) and run which involves 10min. at a normal pace, 4 reps of 2 minutes sprinting 1 minute slow, followed by another 10min. at a normal pace. i'm really excited about it. the only shitty part could be when the roads are icy (although yesterday was 12 degrees) and i have to run inside. i find running on the treadmill so boring but i've convinced a guy at my gym to run the race with me so now i have a running buddy that's not work related.

to update on another past entry. the new 'peaceful' me project is well.....hmmm.... working retail at christmas is stressful but i'm doing ok. no major blowups instead some smiles.

o christmas tree

we put the christmas tree today. i've been so excited to get 'christmasy'! i didn't realize how much i missed seeing christmas lights on houses and decorations in windows. with a lobster dinner and xmas tunes from my childhood, we did the apartment up with style and class!

i sort of felt sad though. i think christmas gets sadder as we get older (?). people we love(d) and cherish(ed) are no longer in our lives for various reasons. as our consience develops we begin thinking more about those less fortunate, hurting and alone. i'm really glad to be here with part of my family this year.

asian kung fu generation

played some japanese cds for the first time since i've been back. why i'm not sure. so much came flooding back. susukino nights. big sunglasses with stripped slouch socks. karaoke. ramen. happy smiles from random strangers. purikura. school uniforms. obento. obon. yosakoi matsuri (sorry again kate and karl). sumo. tokyo. temples. tempura. soba. students. engrish. niseko. hiking. camping. skiing. dog sledding. my house. my mamachari. omiyage. paper work. racism. sexism. hitchhiking. shiba zakura. kaori. kindness. understanding. gestures. nomihodai. keitai. my crew. damiko's wedding. mullets. warugaki. high school boys. orange hair. laughs. fantastic plastic machine. tatami. mid-year conference. kate and yuki's apartment. scoobie. jan's princess skirt. khanse. akan. onsen. summer road trip 2005 in aomori. taiko. random hook ups. kanji. nengajo. smoking. drinking. mice in boxes. sleeping in tents. kimono. yukata. shrines. snow. snow. snow. trains. yosakoi lessons. rikujo-bu. speaking japanese. being famous. being alone. umeboshi. onigiri. sushi. miso soup. nabe. orange range. sinners. engaru. sapporo. hiragana. cherry blossoms. nihon ga daisuke. shit. i'm forgetting japanese quickly.

especially the crew :)

let it snow

i always love the first snow fall of the year....especially when it's this late (however global warming is a scary thing). i couldn't help but have an extra spring in my step and greet passers-by with well wishes. it's funny, give me the same weather in march and i'd be smashing the pavement in anger and cursing under my breath.

would LOVE to go for an onsen.

ever have one of those nights where you weren't expecting much yet turned out to be an amazing evening? that was me last night. i went to an ecstatic barefoot dance event. after a few performances it was free movement for all! no talking, no bad attitudes, no judgement, no booze....just beats and your own body moving to them. the music began very slowly and i felt a little uncomfortable as people rolled on the floor, did crazy-ass yoga positions and such. i just closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and floated away........................